I do Love that person dearly, but what have I done to deserve such a thing, treatment and to be emotionally abused? I do not HATE him, HE is a nice person. He just too good for me.
After my final packing – sat down for a bit examined my own feeling and there I was I felt Deep down inside of me, I was numb…too numb to be thinking about anything sad but all I know was I’m deeply wounded and crushed. If I’m gonna be in a relationship I don’t think I want to share my man with other women, and I thought my man would feel the same. It’s ok it’s all over now, and I’m glad he deleted me out of his life. ^_^
Left dorm at 6:15 am, arrived in BKK airport at 7:30 am, checked-in and stuff then sat down, wrote on my dairy how upset I was and basically felt better after that as I get to express it out. Board the plane and in 2 hoursssssss…..HOME SWEET HOME!!!
Landed at Changi Airport, Singapore exactly 12:30 pm, by the time I got through the immigration check point and get my baggage, 1:15 pm and mum was waiting for me with anticipation, it was nice to be back to see her after 2 years. Followed by my aunt and cousin, we decided to meet them at Bugis Junction for luncheon and later on shopping!!!
I feel really good to be back home, though I do feel a bit weird ‘cos I’ve not been back for 2 years and still a lot of things I need to adjust, which I’m sure by the next couple of days I will do better ;).
I also learned that I actually don’t need a genuine fake stuff; called me whatever you want, freak, nerd, geek or whatsoever you like, cos I don’t feel a thing any more towards everything you named me. You’ve hurt me worst than just those words and I guess I’m kinda immune to it, too NUMB to Have Feeling for anything now. So nothing can kill me no more and I’ve not done anything wrong to deserve such an ill-treatment from a person like that. I also learned that in Singapore we treat everyone EQUALLY, for example the expatriates who live here, they blend in and no one here give them special privilege unlike in Thailand where expatriates are given a special privilege by the local just because of the Thais appreciate their look more than us here. Here We are All EQUAL. I often got questioned like “why are you speaking English?, You’re Asian but you’re speaking English?, Do you speak English in Singapore?” what kind of questions are they? but yeah its ok and Now I got it why; and I have a very god answer for that, cheers to problem Solved!
Singapore really help me a lot this trip in reassessing my thoughts, my need and most importantly about my future and people in my life.
I hated shopping but yet I spent all day with family at shopping mall eat out, chat with them without complaining but legs pain lah kekeke, and they expressed that they want the old me back. No more transition, no more confusion about my own identity, just bring the ME, white little Chinese girl with Long hair back. I love the feeling of togetherness and for sure, nothing beats Pure LOVE from Family.
Mum and cousin got themselves upgraded to iPhone 4 limited edition, White colour, I didn’t know my mum wants it that bad, so she got herself 32 GB O_O yeah, and I bet she will give up after a week or less….we’ll see >_< not that I’m being pessimistic but its true, but I’m happy for her at least she wants to upgrade herself and learn more about technology; she might wanna be geeky like her daughter 😛 had a good amount of walking, shopping and eat we got so tired after the whole day of walking. Well we stopped over at Charles & Keith for a bit, Selena and I got ourselves 2 pairs of Heels hehehe -__-“
Woke up early today though still feel quite tired from last night trying to teach mum how to use her new toy, then went to fresh market and supermarket with mum, I will be cooking breakfast for mum, lunch and yeah! Soup, steam fish, and fried bok choi :))) heaven!!!