I can’t sleep… basically I’ve been tossing and turning in bed for almost 2 hours and my brain just won’t shut up. Not that I have a lot on my mind, but night time is the best time for my little corrupted brain to wander around. Despite the mountain turtle wireless internet connection in the dorm I still need to get this off my head, otherwise I won’t be able to sleep till the morning -_-!!
What really on mind was that; Why do people keep going back to the place there been before, back to the ex, fall back into the same old routine/pattern, and what are they really looking for by going back there?
So I ask myself; why do I keep going back to Chiang Mai why not some other provinces? Or maybe visit my relatives at the nearby provinces? Or why don’t I go back to Malaysia to visit friends or Singapore to visit my close family?
Why Chiang Mai?
Classic as it may seem, Chiang Mai is quite a laid-back city to live for a short time or for holiday, but to live there permanently…not now that’s for sure. Within a walking distance without having to take Tuk Tuk, taxi, or Motorbike taxi, you can get good food from the roadside, pharmacy, clubs, bars and of course at reasonable price. Sometimes I also feel like getting out of the city (Bangkok) I always believed that a change of environment could rejuvenate your soul/mind, I often get lots of inspiration after a trip to somewhere out of the crazy city where there’s no traffic congestion or people hassle you to go to Ping pong show, Spicy, Bossy or if you want a tailored made suit.
I have friends who keep going back to Chiang Mai every year; I just can’t figure them out;
They are back to the same old place and live the same old routine and go party at the same old places…because….?
Or they just simply enjoying the attention they get here more than back home and so they can start whining about “same old tramps and same old shit” ‘cos they made a choice to live the same old life?
Some people go back to the same old place because it gives them sort of inspiration to write more, learn more about new characters or to meet all sort walk of lives
Some people keep going back to the same places because those places hold such a sweet memories, to them, so they’re trying their best to cling on to the last bit of the memories until those memories slowly fade away. Or are they waiting for the miracle to happen?
Why the X File?
For some people who keep going back to the Ex would be a bit of a sadist… the X files are there for you to learn and grow from it, not for you to repeat it. What is yours will be yours…
As for me, I happen to have the answer to my own question,
Honestly, I was trying to live in Chiang Mai for 10 months back in 2008 but realised I don’t belong there so I moved to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia then back to Singapore. I got lost in the city of Chiang Mai and it was terrible, I don’t even know what Chiang Mai has gotta offer if I were to really live there. I had my real first holiday trip to Chiang Mai on 4th February 2010(literally exploring & getting around the city), well I promised my girl friends to make a trip there during December 2009 but I was in China for Christmas and New Year, so I thought I should make it up to them. I was rather hesitated at the beginning, because I have no clue where I’ll be staying and honestly I have no idea about that place At ALL!! But I had enough of Bangkok and I was a bit stressed from school so to hell with it!
Well February trip really an eye-opening experience for me. I had a blast, my girl friends took me out and from then on I just keep going back and sort of can’t get enough of the fun. Sound like I’m trying to run away from the reality back here in Bangkok.
I was like regular visitor to Chiang Mai from February-August, then I stopped and stared back at my own studies…too much fun could be a crime. I went back again during December (Long break from school) but this time I get to spend my first reunion dinner with my entire Wong clan and a quality amount of time with friends so was nice and quite productive, in a way, of course
Seriously last year I was desperately searching for myself; I got strayed once and was a bit lost in my own hallucination, but I managed to get my own ass back on track again. Once I found myself, I promised myself to be honest with my own feeling, never again running away like a coward and I promised myself to say “I love you” to the people I loved. Started with my momsy and the Wong clan 😉 then I made peace with my long time frienemy.
Now that I’m almost done with my studies, I can’t wait to write a new chapter of my life, a new door of opportunity is waiting for me to bark in and a life that I can’t wait to live. Whether or not if I’m going to have someone to share my success with the first one will be my family, the rest I’ll just leave it to God.