Does being Single translated to being Gay?

It is undeniable that I would of course Love to change my status from being “Single” to “In a Relationship” Now that is a big question that everyone I met recently during the dinner party asked and seemed to wonder why I’m still “Single”? It is not a crime, isn’t it if I would be so effing in Love with the being “Single” Status and somehow it got me thinking for how long I would like to keep this going. Two nights back I was just getting ready to go to bed and sleep with my Love (music on the laptop & iPhone) after hours of watching my favourite show Sex and the City, my eyes feel pretty dried and tired, well a surprise came by when my high school puppylove said “hi” to me on msn and I was kind of not so keen to talk to him as I really better get going. I was wondering what he exactly wants from me, well later on I suppose I got the answer. He simply wanna have a catch up on life and of course my sex life, Oh for God sake he just wanna know if I’m seeing anyone or doing a One Night Stand which I find it to be pretty weird.
We’ve lost contact for almost 10 years and suddenly he just popped by and said Hi and I’m interested in knowing your personal life. Okay I have nothing to hide so I was being crystal clear with him about my awesome love life which doesn’t exists. He got kind of shocked with my new haircut and the changes in me, the question asked  
“Are you lesbian? Please tell me you are not because if you are, it will breaks my heart” 
Looks like this chat is not going to end so soon, my only guess was that he wanted to know what happened back then at Changi Airport and the reason why I didn’t wanna keep in touch with him. Suddenly the question to myself was, “Was I being a total bitch to him back then?”  I kept my cool and just waited for his reply soon he came out with he wanted to tell me the honest truth from the bottom from his heart and to my thought “He must be drunk or something” I found out later that after I left Singapore back then, he was trying so hard to strive for the better future and pursued the stable relationship. Oh! apparently his ex-girlfriend left him because she was cheating on him with some other guy who has more time for her than he did and now he is seeing someone else again
(Hopefully not a rebound)
It was amazing I must admit, we had a great talk and at least I get to clear my name. I gave him the answer of why I didn’t wanna keep in touch with him and promised to give him what he wanted to know about my sexual preference and relationship status.
He told me he still kept the bottle of stars I made for him, the heart string that filled with love notes in the box, the wooden frame and the most important thing is my M&M Doll! He thought I would have forgotten them by now. It’s funny how he had this kinda flashbacks often about when we were still young and innocent hungout at the mall near my school and went for Thai food at the Thai market and the “neoprint” (the sticker picture took from the machine) He was sort of reminiscing our childhood and what the hell is wrong with him when he is seeing someone yet he’s chatting with me about our childhood or rather early teenage lives.
I told him the reason why I didn’t keep in touch with him because I had to let him go and pursue his own dream, I’m in Bangkok and living the new lifestyle I never thought Singapore could give me and in the same time enjoyed meeting the new people from different cultures and society.
I caught a glimpse of him crying so badly at the airport when I left him that day standing behind the glass at the Gate before I handed my passport to the immigration officer, without looking back I decided to be brave and just walk over to the perspective gate and said Hello to Thailand here I come! I didn’t wanna look at him at all. It was terrible because I recalled he never declared his love for me at all! I sat quietly in front of my laptop while he was typing sinking in my own world and trying to recalled all the details then I realised he never told me he loves me! even the moment I told him I’m planning to leave Singapore and go back to Bangkok. He could have stopped me and asked me to finished my senior year in Singapore or could say something. He didn’t and I guess he was kind of unsure or his own feeling back then. Oh I forgot that he was 2 years younger than me. However he mentioned that he never hated me after all what I’ve done to him because later on he thought about it and finally understood the whole picture that…
I Loved him (at least puppy love you know)
I’m not selfish
He wanted to know if I’ve turned Bisexual or Lesbian, and if I do one night stand…Well the answer i gave him was “NO” to both and that I am still single and not in a hurry to look for one.
My question back to him was “Why would it break his heart if I were to be GAY?” unless he is flirting with me or have not got over me…
Later in the day, my girlfriend who due in 2 months time…Oh My God Don’t talk to me about going through the labour because I don’t want to imagine the pain and the struggling part…I was kinda happy for my friend and another girl friend from high school also due in 8 weeks What the hell is going on with my friends…I mean I’m happy for them of course…
They questioned me again same questions…
“Are you Gay?”
“Why are you still single?”
“Darling what are you doing with your life? are the men the Bangkok gone Blind?”
Haha! Yeah and the answer I gave was…I am just too difficult to be with and I am horrible so no one wanna be with me =P “Good one!” they then stop asking me from that moment on.
Back to case of the Ex, I believe that an ex exists for reason.
I can’t help it but wonder why people around me think I’m gay..just because of my new haircut? or just because I’m single and that I’m happy with my life and friends.
Another thing i forgot to mention, most of my friends that got hitched and knocked up are all younger than me by at least 2-3 years…hmmm  am I really gonna have to be thinking about this..having kids and settle down…At least my mother and entire clan asked me indirectly or gave me a hint that “I should have boyfriend”
My answer to them was…
If having a partner that is not good and treat you badly, I might as well don’t have one…
What’s the point of spending my time, life and effort in being with someone who only judge me and expect me to be something I’m not…and not being able to accept me as who I am and just go out with me for my body…
That’s completely shallow…
Anyway…my high school puppy love was pleased with whatever he wanted to find out from me and to my surprise I was his first Girlfriend! and I broke his heart…I didn’t know I felt terrible and I felt so bad T_T…His parent still asked if we still talk to each other and I have the weirdest feeling about his parents cos I must say…I kinda Like them they are lovely couple as far as I can remember….
It’s almost 4 am here in Bangkok and it’s probably 5 am in Singapore…OMG what am I thinking of right now… hmm Having French class and test tomorrow I wish I can just eat up the handouts and throw up in the test paper tomorrow…
Gonna get back to sleep…
God Bless xxx

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