Finally……After waited for sooo long
She finally decided to come clean with me. Needless to ask, I could figured out why she suddenly turned into such a weirdo towards me when I know my clear conscious that I am clear as crystal that I have no intention in snatching my good friend’s belonging and that has never been my cup of tea. In case she didn’t know AT ALL…I’ll just make it clear right here and if she reads that’s fabulous…if not it doesn’t bother me even one bit.
Back in 2007 I came to Bangkok on my own to celebrate my birthday with God sister as I was in the midst of recovering from my heart broken and I don’t wanna party in Singapore anymore, So I decided to come to Bangkok for the fun. On the 3rd day of my trip that night I went to meet up with my old friend in Khao san Road, Ohhh My all time favourite place! I met him for a bit and then we parted as he has to work in the morning shift the very next day. It doesn’t bother me knowing I’m here to party and enjoy all the cheap booze and great music and wanted to give myself a blast as a birthday present, after my friend left I decided to walk around for a bit and bar-hopping. It was about 1 am, and I decided now or never before the pubs closed, so I decided to settle in Lava…I walked into Lava with the groovy feeling and wanted to just get a shot and dance the night away, the place was packed as hell…filled with foreigners and hookers, that didn’t bother one bit cos I know what I’m here for. I went straight to the bar and ordered a shot of Tequila (my favourite drink) and then Heineken, I wanted to find a place to put my beer, to my surprised the lady next to me was there with her friend….this is how it started.
She told me I could put my beer together with her and her friend, and we started to talk for a bit. I think she must be pretty tipsy, well she asked me what was I doing in Khaosan Road all alone, so I told her briefly about myself and the reason why I’m here in Bangkok. We were dancing and having so much fun, she was very protective of me, especially during the time when we were dancing and some stranger approached me and asked me to go out for supper with him, he kinda pestered me and I didn’t like it so she came towards and spoke up for me until the bouncers came in and get that guy out of the club. We continued dancing and drinking until the pub closed, again another English guy approached me in a weird way, well we of course talked for a bit as he seemed pretty decent. I agreed to go for supper with him on one condition that he must agreed to have my NEW FRIENDS along. Honestly that was the first time I went out with strangers for supper, we ended up eating porridge and talked over the meal, he invited me over to his guesthouse to watch soccer, just at the lobby so I agreed to go and we had another beers. My NEW FRIENDS went home, Oh and we exchanged contacts and stuff. I called her the next morning and asked if she fancies a beer and decent meal with me, to my surprised she lived near the area my God sister lived, so we met up at Premier along the Rama 9 motor way. She came with a beautiful dress and some light makeup, I thought she was kinda cool and smart so we started talking for while and at some point we were talking about our high school lives and yeah it turned out she is a friend of my classmates from the girl school back in Phitsanulok!!!! Small world uh? I felt excited about this whole thing that happened during my trip and so I decided to rang my classmate who was studying at the university I’m currently studying in. I asked her if she knew this person and she was like WTF! Are you guys together now? how did you meet and stuff? LOL…one pitcher of draught beer became a long night out…My friend invited us over to her apartment as she was also drinking with all of my friends those who were studying in the same Uni. Boy! We took taxi all the way from Rama 9 to Bang khen area…we had a great time drinking and catching up. They have not seen me since we graduated and after the internship well I was damn happy that night, I mean its a jackpot; I got to travel, Party and Met with my old friends!!! It was more than expected!
I went back to Singapore and I kept in touch with this Girl that I met in Lava, My New friend. I text her from my Singapore Number (this is like boy chasing after girl across the country) We kept in touch until I came back to Chiang Mai later early 2008, My mum thought it was the best for me to leave Singapore as for my own good and so that my Lunatic ex will stop talking to me and that I moved on. I came back to Chiang Mai, I landed myself with a good job and a reasonable pay for my qualification. I kept in touch with my new friend and I realised I always confide in her almost everything, and I felt like we could really connect at some point. I told her the truth everything about my fucked up love life and why am I in Chiangmai not Bangkok. She gave me the strength and shared with me her part, that made me felt really great cos I hardly have female friends that I could really talk to. I’m grateful for all the help and the advice she gave and I will never forget that.
August 2008 I decided to move to Bangkok for a better opportunities in career and maybe education. I called her and we hung out quite a bit as she has been working for this educational centre, for almost a year since graduated. I was happy to see her and really pleased with her life, I didn’t realise she has changed, as she never really showed any sign and suppressed everything…as though like everything is normal and all good. Sometimes I feel like I relied on her too much (emotionally) cos she hardly shares with me her ups and downs, so there I felt weird but I tried to ignore that feeling cos she always assured me that “I’m fine its all right really” so ok I was gullible naive and stupid…
I was working for an inbound travel agent for like 3 months, until the point of economy recession and the riot those Red and Yellow closed down Suvannabhumi Airport, just a nick of time my then fiance proposed that I moved to Kuala Lumpur with him and start living together as couple, we bought a studio condominium and that he wanted to settle down with me. So I moved again….
I came back to Bangkok again to pursue my Bachelor Degree in August 2009, Since I’ve started it I gotta finish it right?
We started hanging out again the last time when we hung out was when my French friend came over to Bangkok for a short break during the weekend. I knew she’s very fluent in French and English, and I wanted to introduce her to my guy friend cos I know he sure be interested in knowing a decent girl like her. This is where all the drama starts….
We hung out at Gulliver with about 7 of us, I was the only Asian girl, the rest of them were French. I invited my friend over to join us, but she hesitated I mean at first she was kinda like reluctant to give me the reason why…I think she must felt pretty bad (I know how you feel and I wasn’t angry) at least she told me the truth that someone special came to Bangkok and she had to take him out to do some shopping..Okie that I understand and I won’t insist on you coming to join us. Even though I really want her to come with her someone special, I understand her situation so I just let her go and do her stuff. Later on about 1030 pm she text me and told me that she would like to join us for a drink and asked where we were…she arrived and I gave her a big hug as I misssed her dearly and have not seen her for months. We started talking and dancing again and there they gone…the French and French blah blah blah…I didn’t care much but of course I would love to be able to speak French like her… I really admired her talents though for being able to speak French and Spanish I would love to be able to do the same someday…In the future…
The party ended we went to the roadside I had Phad Thai and some more beer I was with Thomas though, I somehow recalled she told me “Please this guy…I begged to leave him alone..” When she said that I felt hurt because if she knew me well enough I wont flirt with my friend’s man and WILL NEVER BECAUSE FRENCH JusT NOT MY CUP OF TEA!….Ok
While we were eating I was a bit tipsy so did she, I forgot that I placed the Phad Thai plate on my lap, so I wanted to stand up and get water or something I can’t remember, I spilled it and my friend needed to get something from the 7-11 so she went over…WOW This is the part I hate the most, that guy knew he was there with my friend, and he knew I was there with Thomas my friend, Yet he still had the guts to ask for my cell phone number. I hesitated and refused to give him, but he was begging me and he said just give me I won’t do anything. I recalled mentioning that this is going to upset my friend and I’m not interested in him…I do not know this guy well so I am not going to say much or judge him. FUCK! I got a shocked as I didn’t know what this guy wanted to do with my number…he text me the next day and asked how am I usual normal friend conversation…
the moment I knew that was him, I decided to tell my friend that her guy text me and how the hell did he get my number? Wah I must be outta my mind cos I can’t remember when I gave to him, so I asked that guy before how did he get my number…WOW this is really a bitch! He said “you were the one who gave it to me!” Okie now this is really BITCH cos I don’t remember giving him willingly…a few days later I realised after my friend refused to talk to me, I told him about it and I didn’t know what he wanted though but he was very mean with me! Since then my friend stop talking to me….
I duno what he told her and I don’t wanna know but at least now I’ve learned something new…
I thought you knew who I really am….
At some point I really feel bad cos I always throw whatever emotional at you and always shared with you my ups and downs, without looking out for the signs and the fact that after all we are still women…I guess I don’t know typical women attitudes well enough to read your game. That doesn’t matter, but to me if you really were my friend, you could just tell me if I’ve done something wrong and hurt you. You could have handle the situation better than what it is now or you could just tell me that I’m annoying and I can’t always be there for you anymore whatever reason just say…At least be matured about it and upfront. I don’t need to play hide and seek games or being barbie bitch/manipulative bitch. Seriously
I’m glad that we met and I’m glad that you gave me this lesson…I’ll take it as lesson learned and from now on I just have to watch who I’m hanging out with cos not all can be trusted…
I’m grateful for everything you have given, and done for me thanks for putting up with me and my stupid relationship issues. I’m sorry if I have hurt you in any ways. I hope you will forgive me, but I am not asking for the friendship back I am not going to recycle it. It is too late to apologise and I wish you all the best and hope you are happy with every decision you made.
Same thing for M, My used to be friend, I’m sorry I can’t be there for you anymore and if you asked me to pray for your mum who is ill and bed-ridden in the hospital, Well I can pray for you. You have been taking me for granted for a long time and I’m not the aunt agony, remember I was there for you when you grieved for the lost of your loved one, I called you from Singapore just to make sure you are all right, I talked to you for almost an hour. The way I look at you is that, you just take everyone in your life who loved you dearly for granted, you have no respect for others and yourself. I wish you all the best, I also think you deserved to be alone cos looking at the way you treat your friends who loved you and cared about you. Please tell your friend I thank her for the empty gesture on your Birthday Party, I really appreciate the nice things you have given and I hope you will find your happiness in your own way. Please bear in mind, you are not going to have any friend if you keep doing this – This comes from another guy who used to talk to you and you promised him something but you went back on your own words.
As for R, I thank you for the flower that you sent, it was sweet of you, but I think the reason I stopped talking to you for quite a while is because you have been doing the same thing over and over again and I’m pretty sick of it. Wanna know what it is…lemme tell you
1. You named your ex-girlfriend “bitch” I despise men who starting calling his ex-lovers names and said something bad about them
2. I despise shallow, Narrow minded people and judge others. Just because you come from a good decent family and you never leave your rules and frame you’ve drawn for yourself, it doesn’t make you any better person. By swearing cursing and writing some offensive stuff doesn’t make that person a bad person.
3. I don’t Judge people hence I hate people who judge others
4. I Hate people who have never leave their comfort zones yet dare to have so much says in things which they have never experience. Don’t be such a coward and start giving me labeled like I am UNCIVILISED!
5. I hate people who Think WAY TOO HIGHLY OF THEMSELVES when they are just another human beings living on this planet. I never think of myself as better than anyone…
Go back and read on your Message you sent! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TELL ME IF I’M WORTH KEEPING AS A FRIEND OR NOT BECAUSE I MADE MY CHOICE IF I WANNA BE YOUR FRIEND OR NOT. ASK YOURSELF, SINCE WHEN I HAVE NEVER BEEN UNDERSTANDING TO YOUR SITUATIONS? I KNOW THE THING CALLED EGO BUT TO ME IF YOU ARE MY FRIEND I ACCEPT YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE NOTHING THAT MATTER BUT YOUR PURE HEART. BUT AFTER WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO ME IS THAT YOU NEGLECTED YOUR FRIEND, I KNOW I AM A DISTANCE PENPAL KINDA FRIEND AND I AM NOT ASKING FOR MUCH AND I WILL NEVER. Do some self reflection if you must, your message just showed me the real you, how shallow you are and it made me realised and learned something new about you again. Thanks for the 3 years of friendship…that means a lot to me…
Thanks for that message…a seriously good Wake up call for me!
Seriously, this is the time I am doing some self-reflection and eliminate the trash in my life. I don’t care about whatever you think, but I know I am working towards becoming a better person. There is nothing fair in this world, I’m trying to do my things live my life and trying not to hurt anyone. If you are I’m sorry, but I can’t stop you from thinking or feeling otherwise. You are responsible for your own feeling and emotion, I can’t force you to do anything you are not, I’m not God, I do not have benchmark….I’m just trying to be the best I could. Life already soo hard to live…Why complicate it even more uh? not like you gonna live forever, I’m just gonna enjoy the moment and Live life to the fullest, I know who loves me who don’t and I know who knows me “Well” and accepted me as Who I am besides God. I’m thankful to have you as a friend and I will treasure our friendships till death do us part.. (ehh this is sounding so chessy Lame LOL…not the wedding vows….)
Lastly I would like to thank these 3 friends of mine for giving me the permission to learn about human beings and teach me how to be more careful with whoever I am going to be friend with in the Future. I wish you all Well and God Bless you all and Take care. Best of Luck in everything.
xxxx Peace out! xxx